Logic's Got Nothing To Do With It!
by Silverfern500
Summary: Silly little three-shot about a girl who finds herself in a funny little land. Mostly this revolves around the theme of who is the dreamer and who is the dream. It is easy to accept this and all other beloved AIW stories, so it's not such a bother to read
1. Nonsensical Thoughts

{This is only made for fun, it is set as a companion to any and all other wonderland adventures, a silly three-shot about a girl who ends up in a funny world, and who is dreaming who?}

Nonsensical Thoughts

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There was nothing so _very_ queer in how Alice found herself waking up. Except, she could not recall falling asleep, and especially not on the ground! Surely, if she closed her eyes and reopened them, she would see the familiar walls of her room? The golden-haired girl tried it, but no matter how she wished, her fair head never met soft pillow. Instead, she seemed to only tangle her curls worse in the dirt.

"Oh, how peculiar." She cried as she pushed herself up off the sodden earth. From her position she could just make out what _looked_ to be a forest, and a path that she appeared to be lying on.

"Peculiar? Why my dear, but you've not yet seen the half of it." A voice from above piped up, chiding gently, "There is so much more to pique your curiosity – but lo – you choose this to cry out about?" The speaker laughed incredulously.

Now, as far as Alice knew, she was the only one present. However, if one hears words, then there must be one to speak said words. She turned her head around her to seek the source of the speaker, but could not come across anything or anyone of the sort. Since they did not seem to be on the ground, Alice settled on standing to looking up.

Shielding her sensitive eyes from the sun, she timidly scoured the sky; only, it wasn't sky that met her eyes. It was the many stalks of a cluster of sunflowers, and at the top was a flower with a mouth. "Strange," She gaped as she made the connection (For Alice it wasn't _very_ odd that a plant might talk, only that it might possess a mouth with which to talk, understand).

"ME?" The flower asked, leaning in to meet Alice face to face. "Silly girl- you are what is strange here. Glance about you, you don't belong, see? This is the garden, and you are the doll that was left wrongly. Though you don't seem like much of a doll." It snorted.

This made Alice a little angry, what had she done to irk this individual so? "I am no doll, I am Alice." She proclaimed proudly, hands on hips and stance strong.

The sunflower raised her eyebrow at this, and seemed to consider the small child thoughtfully. "_The _Alice? Dear, do you understand the implications of making such a statement here?" Her voice lowered to a whisper as she asked, for added dramatic effect.

"Of course I don't! I am Alice, I've never been not Alice, I wouldn't know how to be. There shouldn't be any implications- only that it is my name. Begging the question though, where exactly is here?" Alice couldn't remember ever seeing such tall flowers before, ones that could even talk. Come to think of it, how had she even gotten here? She would have liked to have been left to her pondering, but the ever-present sunflower brought her back to reality.

"Goodness gracious girl! This is Underland!" The sunflower turned to a neighboring flower and gossiped to it as it came awake. "You think she would remember, seeing as it's only been a few months."

"Oh, yes, unless she is the wrong Alice." The drowsy flower answered.

"No,no, we already went through this last time, she's the right Alice." The sunflower retorted unhappily.

"The right Alice, with the wrong memory." The second flower, a male, added in.

"She'll remember in time." Lady sunflower sighed.

"Oh… Tarrant will not be happy with this…" He groaned.

"He should know by now! Love-sick fool that he is." A bit of attitude mixed with annoyance were mixed in with her words.

"And she has to cope with it, Poor Alice." The boy sympathized, completely ignoring his friend's tone.

"Poor Tarrant." They both agreed.

While the two flowers were rambling on about someone Alice knew naught, the child was busy trying to find a way, well, away. She had brushed off her blue dress, re-tied her boots, and was in the process of walking south when the two finished and realized her movement.

"Wait, Alice!" The sunflower called. "You are going quite the wrong way, and at quite the wrong size."

Alice stopped in her tracks in order to turn around and head the other way, but she had no such intention of talking with the flower. That had proved unproductive, albeit interesting.

"Here," The boy flower said right as Alice passed him, and he brought out a small cake from the ground behind him. Handing it out to her on a leaf-like arm, he gently stopped her strut.

"Thank you." Said the girl tartly, sparing only enough time to curtsey and take the gift. She did not mean to be mean, but she really did need to figure things out. She was about to start off again, but some writing on the cake caught her attention and confused her. The icing on the treat clearly read 'Eat me'

"Please wait until you are out of the garden." He stated without need of provocation.

Alice nodded, a bit miffed. She then walked off into the horizon to the north, out of the flower garden and the sight of the inhabitants.

"Well, I know one thing for certain," The sunflower huffed, "She's ruder than last time I saw her."

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{This one is just a start, second part is explaining a bit more thouroughly how, or rather, when, this story takes place. The third story is about who dreams who}

Hope you have or are enjoying, and I'm sorry if nothing makes sense (In truth, it all makes perfect sense to me; but then again, I am me).


	2. Flaws In Thyme

{Hope you don't get TOO confused!}

Flaws in Thyme

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Alice did exactly as she was advised; she waited until she was out in the open- out of the garden- to eat the cake. There didn't seem anything _very_ odd with it, but after a few nibbles, she found herself growing. "Curioser and curioser." She muttered to herself, as her clothes grew tight but thankfully did not tear. Everything seemed the right size now, at least.

"I suppose I should be surprised at all of this, and the sunflower was right, there is so much curiosity here, but I'm not." She jumbled her thoughts together, after all, why not if she were to be the only one around to hear them? Which unfortunately proved not to be the case.

"You say that every time." The cat laughed. Because it was a cat, sitting in the tree that Alice faced. A purple cat with a peculiarly large grin. "Someday you ought to remember."

The cat was only serving to confuse the girl more, and it was answers she was after, not questions. "I've been here before?" She asked to the cat's great amusement.

"Oh, many times. Perhaps twice- perhaps once. Perhaps three and again. Underland has a non-consistent time frame. For example, the last time you were here you were nineteen and it was your third visit, and now you are, for the most part, seventeen and it is your second." He faded and reappeared besides Alice's shoulder. "Or I would think that by your standards, this is your fourth visit- but before your third- and you don't remember your others." He laughed cruelly and dissipated into smoke, leaving none but his grin behind.

"How confusing!" Alice muttered. "So how did I get here?"

"Ah," The cat nodded, now standing at the point in which the road turned left. "That, love, only Absolem knows. Follow."

"What?" But Alice didn't get a chance to ask before the cat was gone again, so she had no choice but to follow. When the cat finally slowed down, completely rematerializing, they were deep within the forest. A clearing was shortly up ahead, and blue smoke seemed to be seeping from it- oozing across the roots in the ground. The girl covered her nose and mouth and made a noise of disgust as the substance hit her, it was not at _all_ wonderful.

"Must I go in there? It's revolting."

The cat's grin widened a bit, he was finding quite a bit of humor in the girl's antics. "If you want to know your past, then you will. You _must _nothing." He giggled, pushing Alice's shoulders slightly so she took a step forward.

"Wait!" She exclaimed putting her hand out to grasp a branch in order to stop. "I need your name before I go." She whirled on the cat, so that her face was inches from his. This startled him some, he wasn't expecting it.

"Certainly, silly Alice. I'm the Cheshire cat, they call me Chess." He smirked cynically – yet was that a hint of admiration in his eye? Very likely not.

Alice stepped into the clearing.

---

"H-Hello." Alice coughed through the blue smoke. "Is anyone here?" She called. "Absolem?" Stumbling blindly in the fog, her foot caught a stray rock and down she tumbled. Somersaulting across what turned out to be a small hill, the girl didn't stop until she hit a medium-sized mushroom. Upon the mushroom, a rather small caterpillar sat smoking from a pipe-type object.

"Yuck, how can you stand this stuff?!" She complained, scrunching up her nose.

"Not so graceful, are you, stupid girl." Absolem noted, ignoring the complaint.

It was then that Alice noticed how she had landed, with her feet propped up on a stump behind the mushroom, her head against a root, and her skirts around her waist revealing her knickers. "Oh!" She said pointedly, quickly gathering herself and sitting up proper. "Well, I…"

"No time." Absolem cut her off. "You are here about your memories, are you not?"

"Well…" Alice thought. "I'm here about how I got here, if that is what you mean."

"How dull." The caterpillar took another breath of his smoke, blowing a ring of it at Alice's face. "Is that all?"

"Yes." Alice gagged, "Couldn't you not do that?"

"Well, if that is all, take a look at the scroll." Absolem seemed to be disregarding the second statement.

She was about to ask about what scroll he might be talking about, when she spotted the very thing to the side of herself. Carefully she unrolled it and took a look. There, on the parchment, was her. It was unmistakably so, who could have the same hair as her if it were not? In one picture she was painting flowers, in another she was fighting a beast, in another she was having a tea party, and in yet another, she was lying on the ground. That was where she was that morning, she recognized.

"Can it elaborate?" She looked to the caterpillar. He did not answer, so she decided to try. "Scroll, this part where I am lying on the ground, how did I get there?"

The paper responded by showing Alice a much older form of herself climbing through a mirror on the other side. Now things made a little more sense. "Absolem," Alice went to thank her friend but when she looked for him, he was gone. Just like the cat, although his was no act of dissipation. Speaking of which, as the blue smoke cleared, the Cheshire cat popped in standing at the exit from the clearing.

"Where to now?" Alice asked him happily.

"I will take you to the hare and the hatter." He replied.

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{Enjoying yourselves, I presume?}


	3. Who is the Dreamer and who is the Dream?

{This one is confusing}

Who is the Dreamer and who is the Dream?

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And that is just what Chess did, he led Alice straight to the tea party- and not a minute too late. In fact,

"Alice! You're actually early this time! How wonderful." The man at the end of the table yelled happily, knocking chairs over in his mad dash to greet the girl. "You're a bit taller than last time." He remarked, vibrant green eyes assessing her wholly as he came approached her and took her hands in his. None too carefully he shook her petite limbs vigorously and then leaned in for a _very_ quick hug before pulling away and seating himself back at the table. It all happened so fast that no one had the time to put in a word.

"It's been so long, and Alice, you really should call you know. Strangers aren't usually welcome, obviously you're not a stranger, don't be a stranger, Alice my friend, my dear, good, fri-" Tarrant rambled about, fixing a place for her at the table, while doing more damage than good to the tea set.

"_Hatter!_" A scolding voice came from below, a voice that turned out to belong to a mouse that followed it onto the table. "Get a hold of yourself!" The mouse only managed to stay calm until the hatter rose to meet his gaze, then they both reduced themselves to a mad giggle fit.

"Mallymkun, we've got guests!" The hatter chortled delightfully. "Thackery, pour the tea! Don't let it get cold!" He yelled to a hare that sat on the other side of the long tea table.

Everyone seemed to be seated, including Chess who had popped in to the far-end chair. So Alice felt it _only_ natural that she have one too, right by the madman, at the place he had set for her. "Is he always like this?" She whispered quickly to Chess as she passed his chair.

"You get used to it." He replied subtly as the girl continued on to her spot.

Once everything was finally settled, the hatter (Of _all_ people), called order. "Friends, we have a guest! A most honored one as well." He turned his cheery smile to Alice, who was still attempting to take it all in. He did look a great deal _odd_ to her, with orange hair blazing. Plus, those eyes….

"Alice, tell me why you came back?" Her thoughts were interrupted again by him. "It can't have been that you missed me as I have you." Tarrant said to her with a twinge of longing in the corner of his iris.

"Well, actually," She began regretfully under his stare. "I don't-"

"She doesn't remember you." Chess broke in.

Things got weird from thereon in. Hatter became uncomfortably silent while both Mallymkun and Thackery jumped up in outrage.

"How dare you, brat!" The hare cried, throwing cup after spoon after tray at Alice's head. The mouse charged the girl and attempted to slash at her fingers, not in a way so as to hurt her, but to try to get her to remember.

Both attacks Alice easily avoided, but it did help when the cat moved over to remove the mouse. Yet the hatter stayed still and unresponsive for _quite _some time, muttering things under his breath, until a knife came hurtling toward the girl's shoulder. That was when the mad man stood up and blocked the utensil with his arm.

Alice flinched as she saw blood streaming down the man's arm, she felt guilty. Something deeper, too. Like he was someone she cared deeply about, even though they had only met. So she followed him when he went inside, even though no one else did.

"Alice." The man said tiredly- yet not without madness in his very voice. "You once told me that you would miss me when you woke up." He did not look at her as he shuffled around in upside-down cabinets for a bandage, his hat barely escaped the ceiling as he stood.

"T-Tarrant?" She questioned, the name only popping up as she said it. It seemed fitting enough.

"You said!" Tarrant turned, wildly, angrily. Such a sudden change of moods. "Yet you cannot even keep me in memory!"

"I- I'm sorry, I think I do miss you, or will, I think, if you'll let me." Her back was against a wall now, one the hatter had backed her into. That seemed to calm him again, for the time being.

"No, I'm sorry. Dear Alice, I didn't mean to scare you. That's the last thing I meant to do." The confused man sighed as he retreated to a couch to lie upon. "You don't have to remember; you'll be gone and back again soon. Remembering then forgetting me, us."

"Tarrant…" She pleaded, approaching the couch.

"Just- promise me, you'll stay with me until I fall asleep?"

So she did, until his eyes were closed and his breathing evened. And she could only shake her head and feel sympathy for how tormented the poor man must be, to dream her up each day (until perhaps the real Alice might show up again, soon, hopefully) Because as he fell deeper and deeper into sleep, Alice faded further and farther away until she was gone. Locked again in the Hatter's mind.

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{Because I suck at twist endings, and at portraying the mad hatter, and because I was oh so bored, and my fingers wouldn't quit typing, and I promise my first one-shot was better. Hope you are excruciatingly confused now- or pleased. Take care :)


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